I was at a cross roads – I had stood my ground and had been supported but I was still feeling the pressure to show up. Come Wednesday I was absolutely exhausted and my stomach had cramped right across the top, making it hard to breathe. I tried not to panic but after stretching out in bed and still being uncomfortable it was clear I wouldn’t be getting any sleep, therefore we needed to head into the hospital. I could feel baby kicking around but I was worried my body was letting me down and with all the complications I wanted to be checked out.
The hospital was very understanding and had already read my file before heading in, they expressed that my stomach was just stretching and baby’s observations were normal. Dave and I did notice we were sent into a different consult room as per the one where we had last heard the horrible news that our little boy’s heart had stopped. We were both very thankful! We were sent on our way but assured to return at any time.
Thursday morning my stomach was still tight and it hurt to walk so after dropping Charlie off to kinder, I went home to bed. I again spoke to my director who reassured me to go home and get some rest! But it was hard, I felt guilty for leaving my team understaffed and I was annoyed at myself for caring. Everyone was telling me to finish up, but there was no protocol being applied and I just felt responsible for the lack of staffing to cover my leaving.
Friday morning, I woke to an uncramped stomach, but I was still tired so again after dropping Charlie off to kinder, I headed home to bed. This baby was to come above all else!
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The drive back to Melbourne was becoming almost routine. The difference this time was we were prepared for the worst – our baby was at risk and we would have to consider an early delivery in Melbourne. However just the same as our last visit, our results were once again turned on their head!
The ultrasound technician almost immediately downgraded all of our concerns within our 40-minute appointment. Firstly, yes, the position of the cord into the placenta was confirmed as ‘velamentous’. However, due to the position of my placenta this pregnancy, it meant the fetal blood vessels were less vulnerable to rupture or compression. And as for the ‘uterine septation’ diagnosis, that got completely thrown out the door and sent on it’s way! The technician stated that what they were looking at wasn’t a solid divide but more a thin abrasion that had most likely healed and stretched after delivery with Louis. The piece was thin and wait for it . . . . a common find in pregnancies post c-section! Again, we were met with relief – but for how long this time? The technician confirmed that as bub grew, he would just push the piece out of the way! He even laughed when questioning our concerns, suggesting if we had ‘google doctored’ the septation, we would have found photos of a birth deformity. Yep, that we had! But no, thankfully, that was not what we were dealing with here. Needless to say, we were a lot calmer headed into our following appointment.
The Doctor was happy and after thoroughly going through all my documents, it was discussed we return once more before delivery, which was also cleared to go ahead as planned in Shepparton! They just wanted to check in that one last time and cross-check all instructions and communications with Goulburn Valley Health – ensuring our best outcome.
After booking our appointments, which would take us right up to Christmas time, we made our way back to the car with our heads held higher than we had going in.
Our minds had been put to rest – for now at least!
Following another tradition, we opted to make our way across Melbourne to the season 2021 and season 2024 houses of The Block – just for fun, before heading home again.
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Part of Dave’s and my love story doesn’t come without its drama – go figure – there’s more! But after a failed attempt at proposing, or rather failure to get down on one knee after the Ute slipped down an embankment and became bogged. There was no mobile reception so we were forced to hitch-hike back to the local pub and wait for help to arrive.
Once we were finally on our way, Dave asked me to pass him his drink bottle and the ring was sitting in the inner-console – covered in mud.
Therefore, when Dave collapsed during our wedding vows, I declared I was due a do-over! It was a joke really, but I didn’t mind the idea of renewing our vows in years to come – just us and any future children we had, at home, surrounded by all the animals.
But then we lost our little Louis, and we survived. The thought had always been lingering at the back of my mind and Dave knew about the do-over request, but it was the mention of a ‘push present’ that brought the conversation forward. I had been researching sapphire rings to pair with my wedding rings – it had been something I had wanted as my eternity ring but wasn’t an option for us at the time. Now I had found the perfect ring AND there was one made for men too! I thought to myself, ‘we could do it,’ ‘before the baby is born,’ ‘just us, Charlie and a photographer,’. We could turn the area down the back into an arbour and at sunset it would be beautiful, just as we’d imagined. We wouldn’t tell anyone our plans, we were already legally married after all, but share the news post renewal – I also considered setting up in the middle of the sheep paddock, I didn’t care!
Anyway, the car ride to Melbourne and back prompted me to update Dave on my thoughts. He was aware about the ‘push present’ ring as it had been on the cards for Louis’ arrival also and he liked the idea of a new ring to match, however it was now November and we needed to prepare for the safe arrival of this baby. Also, Dave liked the idea of having all of our children in attendance for the renewal – fair. It was decided we would work towards a renewal for our 10-year anniversary, putting us four years out and time to forward plan. I reminded Dave that he also owed me another proposal when the time came, but for now we would get new rings for Christmas and wait out the future.
'Our Little Louis' 