Post-natal depression loomed after the birth of our eldest son, Charlie, in 2021, but with the right supports and my return to work I was able to get my life back on track. Hubby and I had always said we would try again once Charlie was turning three and after two failed attempts to remove my mirena and an early miscarriage, we were pregnant with our beautiful little Louis.
The pregnancy, although less physically draining than my first, didn’t come without its own challenges. My seven-week dating scan revealed a five-centimetre blood clot in my uterus. In medical terms a ‘parauterine vein thrombosis’. I was referred to the Royal Women’s Hospital who instructed daily 100mg clexane injections for two weeks. The follow up ultrasound showed that the clot had largely reduced in size, however I was advised to continue with daily 40mg injections for the remainder of the pregnancy. The injections were painful, but I continued to inject the needles into my stomach every morning and I did it for you, our little Louis. My stomach was black and blue and there were days when I travelled to work with an icepack tucked into the waste-band of my pants, but I did it every day until you arrived.
At 12 weeks we were informed you were a baby boy and the names began to be thrown around, but for me, there was always only one.
The name Louis was one that had never been on our list of baby names, however my recent obsession with One Direction, or rather Louis Tomlinson had changed that and I continued to campion for the name ‘Louis’ for the entirety of the pregnancy.
The story dates back pre-miscarriage when I became aware of Louis Tomlinson’s Faith In The Future world tour that was coming to Melbourne late January 2024. The discussion that followed with my husband, Dave, lead to ‘won’t you be pregnant by then?’ And although this comment caught me off-guard, we agreed that the timing probably wasn’t right, and we moved on.
Fast forward to November 14, when an ultrasound confirmed an early miscarriage and we were devastated! But because it was so early there wasn’t much to go on and doctors reassured us that sometimes these things just happen.
This occurrence prompted me to buy those tour tickets and I was lucky that a few of my work colleagues were fellow ‘directioners’ who came along too. Because as it turned out, come January 28, I was 11 weeks and six days pregnant for the concert.
But the real turning point for me was when Charlie reached up to my stomach around 20-weeks’ gestation and said ‘baby brother Louis.’
Yes, I had brainwashed my son and had continuous dance parties while we made our way through each One Direction album, watched the movie ‘This is us’ and the film-clips on repeat. We both loved the boys and if Charlie wanted to name his baby brother after our favourite member, who was I to judge?
~ Bereaved Mother ~
'Our Little Louis' 